Cheese Wars
by EnuNR-zero
Summary: It's all you've ever wanted from Star Wars... except with cheese! Staring Swissy, Lummy, Nacho, Brie, Camembert, Provolone, Chuzzy, Dark Grater and a Janitor! Will they stop the Cheese Puffs?
1. When the Cheese Started

Key: Me My Friend  
  
This story was inspired on a camping trip when my friend and I ate a lot of cheese, I got constipated, (We made cheese dip) and so this story was born. I like cheese! All on the account of the fact that Skywalker was deprived of cheese, which is why he went to the dark side. Say cheese man! Anyhow, my friend is very obsessed with cheese, so she pressured me to help her write this story. My story, mine! Mine! All mine! All from my cheddered noodle brain! Sorry about that, she didn't take her medication today. So may the Margarita be with you. Dangerously cheesy!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: This story is all mine, even the characters are mine, yes mine! Whoooooahahahahahahahahahahah! No, the characters aren't yours. Cheese nibbles! Foiled again!  
  
Cheese Wars  
  
Chapter 1: When the cheese started.  
  
A long, long time ago, in far, far away universe, in a far, far away galaxy, on a far, far away cheese-dipped planet, not to far, far away from you because you could find it in your uncles old, moldy cottage cheese container, lived a guy named Swissy. "My name is Swiss, you baffoon, not Swissy!" excuse me... Swissy was... "Don't make me tell you again!" Okay. Let's try this again.  
  
In a very far away place, and, yada, yada, yada. There was a very small planet, crusted over with cheese. On this planet we find people of species, sizes, shapes, and flavors. The most common food among the people was cheese, as our title tells you. In the crusted desert of moldy cheese, our young hero Swissy- "I'm warning you!"- Okay, sorry, Swiss lived with his very old and feeble aunt and uncle, Camembert and Wendslydale. Swiss was helping his uncle, Camembert with the farm, which grew cheese native to the desert. But at this time Camembert in the house, hiding under his bed because he had had a nightmare of Giant Dorido's coming down from the sky and firing crunchy Cheeto's that made your tongue turn green, at people. Swiss was very angry about this.  
  
"Stupid nightmare, stupid farm, stupid cheese!" he shouted, throwing the cheese everywhich way. "I'm sick of this place!" realizing he just ruined the cheese patch, he stormed off the property. Kicking pieces of cheese as he went. Wendslydale, Swiss's aunt turned to her husband in horror and said,  
"Honey, I don't think Swissy likes cheese anymore." Off in the background they heard a distant cry of  
"It's Swiss!"  
"I foresaw it in my dream, Swiss doesn't like cheese. Dorido's falling from the heavens, Cheeto's! The horror!" Shouted Camembert from under the bed.  
"Oh shut up about the damn Dorido's! I'm talk'in about Swiss. He's trying to run away, again!" shouted Wendslydale.  
"Why do you say that dear?" asked Camembert.  
"Because he just wrecked the cheese field and is running off into the cheese dunes."  
"Wendslydale, he'll be back unless the Cheeto's get him. Cheeto's!!" cried Camembert as he curled up into a ball under his bed.  
  
Unbeknownst to Swiss, his wish of wanting to leave the cheese planet was about to come true.  
  
"Princess Lummy, we're under attack!" cried the servant.  
"Don't call me Lummy, you jackass! It's Limberger you fool! Limburger!" Limberger yelled.  
"Sorry, Lummy, oh Oops. Hehehe."  
"You call me Lummy again and you die! Got it bub?!" Limburger hit him over the head.  
"Yes your highness, but we are under attack by the awful Cheese Puffs!"  
"Good, cheese puffs are my favorite food!" said Limberger, licking her lips.  
"No, I mean the Cheese Puffs..." Lum stood there for a moment, confused. "Dark Grater!" the servant said at last.  
"Curses, why didn't you say so? We have to act fast, prepare to defend the Macaroni! I'll go try to contact, Nacho, with Brie. Try to hold them off at all costs!'  
"Yes, your bossiness." Limburger hit him over the head again.  
"How, dare you speak to royalty like that! If we weren't in a life or death situation your head would be flying!" Lum quickly took a breath, and regained her composure, "I just hope we will be able to survive." Suddenly there was a crunch as the whole ship shook. 


	2. The Cheese Puffs Take Over

A/N: We are sorry to confuse some reviewers but as it turns out, not one but two, people are telling this story. One of which is myself, a calm nice quiet, cat-loving person, while the other person is what I'd like to describe as a psychopath who escaped a mental institution, and she just happens to be a close friend of mine. WHO? ME? Although she is not all of this, she is very hyper and obsesses about everything. Especially cheese! MY CHEESE! MINE! Now, on to the disclaimer....  
  
Disclaimer: As some reviewers thought, we really don't own this story idea or it's plot. Last time we where just arguing about it. IT'S ALL MINE!!!! Settle down! Sorry that was my friend. She escaped the Psycho ward again. I CUT THE CHEESE!  
  
Cheese Wars  
  
Chapter 2: The Cheese Puffs take over.  
  
The pressurized doors opened to the control room. A very tall man  
  
came through. There was an assortment of cheese graters on his head, acting  
  
as sort of a 'helmet'. He was wearing a neon yellow jumpsuit and a golden cape full of holes billowed out behind him. Just as he walked in, there was a donging  
  
sound, strangely like that of an egg timer, because the entryway was too short for him. "I hate this ship." He mumbled in a hoarse voice, rubbing his head.  
  
"Sir," saluted a really short man with a giant wedge of dull yellow cheese on  
  
his head. " We have the Macaroni in sight."  
  
"Excellent, if my plan goes well, they will surrender princess Lummy." Off in the distance somewhere, they heard someone shout,  
  
"You're asking for a death wish if you keep calling me Lummy!" but they dismissed that.  
  
"Open fire," yelled the grater head at the top of his lungs. Unfortunately he was unable to drown out Princess Limburgers screeches about how many people she had hurt for calling her that foul name.   
  
"With what?" asked the cheese head.  
  
"Pirates Booty! " there was a long pause.  
  
"...Um... sir,"  
  
"What!" he snapped menacingly. Everyone in the room jumped straight out of their seats.  
  
"Somebody ate all of them." Said the cheese head in a small voice. That earned him a smack in the head from the grater head. "OW! That hurt! Why do you always have to be such a big bully!? I-" He was cut off by a terrified look from a guy sitting at a computer, next to them. "Umm well sir we also have Cheezits."  
  
"Then fire!"  
  
"Yes Sir. Cheese Puffs rule!" the cheese head said in a shaky voice, while he saluted. The grater guy stepped off the platform and began to stare out at the Macaroni lazily float by, like all bad guys do.  
  
"Soon the universe will quake at the very mention of my name,  
  
Dark Grater!" there was some giggles behind him. "Do you find that funny?"  
  
Dark Grater said slowly turning his head toward the cheese head.  
  
"No Sir," he said, trying to stifle a laugh.  
  
"Parmesan! Brie!" shouted Limburger. A giant droid made of cheese and a giant block of pasty white cheese rolled into the room.  
  
"Yes, princess Lumy," said the cheese droid. Limburger's face turned scarlet red. Her fists clenched and she shook with rage. "I mean Limburger, Limburger!" said the droid quickly. The block of cheese next to him just said,  
  
"Brie." Limburger's face regained normal color.  
  
"Brie, I need you to take this hologram to Nacho." She said.  
  
"Why, are we under attack?" asked Parmesan, a little worried. The ship shook, as there was another crunching sound.  
  
"Well duh! Haven't you two noticed?"  
  
"Brie!" said Brie. Limburger glared at him.  
  
"Why did I have to get stuck with a cheese block that can only say it's name!"? She mumbled quite fiercely to herself.  
  
Parmesan stood there in an uncomfortable silence, watching Limburger say threats under her breath and Brie sitting next to him, merrily chirping.  
  
"Brie. Brie. Brie. Brie. Brie. Brie."  
  
"Oh, shut up! The ship is under attack, and you two are the only non-inelligent life on the ship! So take this stupid hologram to Nacho!" Lum shouted as another crunch rocked the ship.  
  
"Quickly we're running out of time! Brie come over here now!" Another crunch resounded through the walls.  
  
Brie waddled over to Lummy . . . Limburger, and sat down happily saying, "Brie!"  
  
Lum tried to inserted a small, round, yellow disk that was covered with purple dots, in to a small CD Rom drive in Brie. But it wouldn't enter. She started to curse loudly while shaking her fists at the ceiling.  
  
"What did I ever do to deserve this!? All I ever did was escape from that dumb boarding school Mom sent me to! Sure in the act I did accidentally start a food fight and almost killed Ms. Velveta's favorite cheese ball, but that is no reason to punish me now! Why won't this stupid thing work!"  
  
Parmesan cleared his throat, receiving a death glare from Limburger because he had interrupted her rants. "Your Highness, do you think that there could be something already in the CD slot?"  
  
"Oh, why didn't I think of that!" She said slapping her head. Limburger pushed a button next to the CD slot, and out came the hit famous CD from Cheesy Mouth.  
  
Parmesan, opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off from another death glare from the princess. Brie gave a sad chirp. There was another loud crunch. And the ship violently shook again. Suddenly there was a sound of wrenching. Everybody in the room stopped.  
  
"Oh-no, the hull's been breached." Whispered Limburger.  
  
"We're all going to die!" shouted Parmesan, running around in a circle.  
  
"Parmesan, get your butt back over here, you can panic later!" Limburger shouted. Quickly she slipped the CD in the slot. "Now beat it!" she shouted pushing Parmesan and Brie out of the room. "Go find Nacho! If he can't help us, I don't know who will."  
  
"Okay, okay, I'm moving, I'm moving!" said Parmesan.  
  
"Brie!" shouted Brie.  
  
"Quiet, your making it worse!" Parmesan shouted in a terrified voice as the two of them moved down the hallway. Limburger, sighed and shook her head, when they where out of sight. They were never going to make it. Suddenly she heard a lot of footsteps, all falling in unison. There in the dim light was Dark Grater and the notorious Cheese Puffs behind him.  
  
"Oh crap," she mumbled.  
  
"Brie! We're you going?" asked Parmesan.  
  
"Brie, brie!" chirped Brie. Waddling towards an escape hatch.  
  
"An escape pod, those things scare the heck out of me!" protested Parmesan. Brie got behind him and began ramming Parmesan inside. "No you're not getting me inside, not on your- Aaaah!" screamed Parmesan as he flew inside, landing with a thud. Brie got inside and shut the hatch. "If we survive this, remind me to personally turn you into a cheese pizza." Said Parmesan in a muffled voice from within the pod.  
  
"Brie, brie, brieeeeeee!" squealed Brie as they where catapulted into the abyss of space.   
  
A/N: That's the end of chapter two! We need at least eleven reviews to be able to post the next chapter. NO WE NEED 2 MILLION! HAHAH!She was just kidding! Thanks to all those who reviewed! So until next time- MAY THEMARGARITA BE WITH YOU!  
  
Reviewers:  
  
WickedElphaba: I'm very glad you like our story; I hope you didn't break the house. I BROKE MY HOUSE! LAUGH ON BUDDY!!!!!!!!!  
  
Thyrin: Let me tell ya, where not going to stop writing any time soon. HEY, ALEX-SAN! YES, PARODIES ARE FUNNY! BUT CHEESE IS EVEN BETTER!  
  
Liz: We're writing more soon, thank you. VERY SOON! WE WROTE MORE TODAY! BEING FUNNY IS JUST LIKE CHEESE. THEY'RE BOTH RED!  
  
Spera Crinis: Thanks for the advice! I MADE SURE THAT SHE PUT IN SOMETHING ABOUT THE STORYLINE. BUT IN MY OPINION, IT'S MINE! HAHAHAHAH!  
  
NeoRaichu-zero: Hay! I'm glad it rocks, we agree with you completely! I KOW WHO YOU ARE!  
  
Siiarrei:Next time bring chips if it's too cheesy. Thanks. I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT STINA-SAN! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE CHEESY! I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK FROM CANADA, AND ALL THE CHEESE DOWN HERE SAYS HI!  
  
Ree: We're not going to keep you in suspense for long, if you read this chapter! HELLO! I TOLD YOU WE WOULD UPDATE SOON! I ATE LUCKY CHEESE TODAY!   
  



	3. Crash Landing

A/n: HELLO! CHEESE! HAHAHAHAHA! Hello again. Here we present the 3rd

chapter of our cheesey saga!THE CHEESE HAS COME TO TAKE OVER THE

WORLD!!!!!!!!!! No! bad psyco friend, you just told the ending! Anyway,

this part does not follow the movie completely so don't give us evil

reviews about it!TWO MILLION PIZZA'S WITH CHEESE, ON THE TABLE! TWO

MILLION PIZZA'S ON THE TABLE! TAKE ONE DOWN, AND PASS IT AROUND!Ah...

this will be awhile. Enjoy the story!ONE MILLION, NINE HUNDRED

NITETY-NINE THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED NINTEY-NINE, PIZZA'S ON THE TABLE!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Disclaimer: COME ON YOU CRAZY PEOPLE AND SING WITH ME! ONE MILLION,

NINE HUNDRED NITETY-NINE THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED NINTEY-SEVEN PIZZA'S ON

THE TABLE! Somebody help me? PLEASE! Anyway we don't own this story and

plot line.MAYBE YOU DON'T! BUT I MIGHT! WELL, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF

THAT, HUH?! HUH?! TELL ME! I PROMISE THAT I DON'T BITE VERY HARD! Don't

say anything! What ever you do DON'T SAY ANYTHING!I LOVE MICE! AND SOME

MICE LIKE CHEESE! BUT NOT MY LITTLE MOUSY! We really need to get

started with the story. Onto Cheese Wars!MY MOUSE JUST POOPED IN MY

HAND!

Cheese Wars

Chapter 3: Crash Landing

Swissy, _What did I say about Swissy in the beginning!_

um... It's Swiss you bafoon. _Yes! Get with the program here!_Okay...

anyways, felt the ground give a giant quake. He scrambled up a giant

cheese

dune and found a crashed ship smoldering in a giant cheese-filled

crater. Stumbling out were a block of white pasty cheese and what

looked like an odd droid made out of cheese.

"Oh no, not more cheese." Swiss groaned. The cheese droid was

yelling something.

"That does it! That's the last time I let you drive anything.

I nearly soiled myself!" The block seemed to be yelling stuff too, but

all Swiss could hear was the block saying the same thing over and over

and over again.

"Brie! Brie, brie, brie!" it chirped madly.

"You don't have any eyes you big stinky piece of cheese! How

could I have accidentally covered your eyes when you where trying to

land?"

"Brie, brie!" The block chirped angrily.

"Take that back!" The droid jumped on the block of cheese and

they both went rolling down the hill, landing in a cloud of cheese.

"Ah, Excuse me? Are you guys lost?" Asked Swiss.

"Do we look lost to you?" Shouted the droid. The block of Cheese

suddenly jumped and scuttled up the hill towards Swiss. Then it hid

behind Swiss's back, shaking saying,

"Brie."

"Yes, you do look lost! Who and what are you?!" Swiss asked

the block of cheese.

"That is brie," said the droid with distain. "I am Parmesan."

"Swiss," Said Swiss.

"Oooo, can I call you Swissy?" said Parmesan. Swiss's face went

from a calm white color to an angry deep red.

"NOOoooo!" he roared, so loudly that it knocked Parmesan off

his feet. Brie just said,

"Brie."

"Your right Brie He does remind me of somebody I know." said

Parmesan. Getting to his feet.

"Who?" asked Swiss.

"A very bossy person by the name of Lummy." said Parmesan.

there was a very far away cry of,

"Remind me to turn you into fondue the next time I see you!"

"Is that Lummy?" asked Swiss.

"Yes, that was her," said Parmesan, making an irritated face.

"Hi Lummy." yelled Swiss just for the fun of it.

"Your next Swissy! The death trap awaits you!" came the reply.

"It's Swiss!" Swiss yelled angrily. Parmesan and brie both

looked at each other in amazement.

"How do they do that?" Parmesan asked, confused.

"Brie," said Brie.

"Right, long distance." said Parmesan nodding his head. "So,

are you a local?" asked Parmesan, trying to get back on topic.

"Yeah, why?" said Swissy through clenched teeth, still staring

up at the sky like Lummy would pop out at any moment.

"Well... uh, I was wondering if you could help us... you know

repair our ship?" said Parmesan. Swissy turned around and raised an

eyebrow.

"That's an escape pod. Their only meant to be used once."

"I know that... but we have a very urgent message." Said

Parmesan.

"Brie, brie, brie." Said Brie.

"Brie, that's rude!" shouted Parmesan.

Swiss interrupted the fight that Parmesan was about to start,

"Who's the message for? If you tell me, I might be able to help you."

Then he said quietly, under his breath, "As long as I get paid, of

course."

"Sorry," Said Parmesan, looking up from where he was about to

strangle Brie, "I didn't catch that last bit?"

"I said, that you have to pay me, in order to get me to help

you." Said Swiss.

"But why would we need to do that?" Said parmesan, confused.

"Because I can't run away from home without money, and I don't

have any money at the moment!" Said Swiss, getting angry.

"Oh . . . Swissy I'm so sorry that you have to run away, but

you see, that we don't have any money. Unless we sell Brie!" Said

Parmesan hopefully. And Brie just said,

"Brie!" in a very low tone.

"Yeah, whatever! Just be quiet! If I make you sound interesting

enough, we might actually get some money from you! –Hey Swissy? What's

wrong? You don't look very good!"

Throughout this whole exchange of insults, Swiss had kept very

quiet. And his facial color started to change. First from white to red,

to blue, and then purple. At that very moment, he was an interesting

shade of orange.

A small whisper escaped his lips, "Don't you dare call me

Swissy again."

"What?" Asked Parmesan.

It felt like there was a very loud explosion and waves of

energy started to come off of him, and Swiss finally burst, "DON'T YOU

EVER CALL ME SWISSY AGAIN! THERE WAS A GIANT GREEN DINOAUR ON TV NAMED

SWISSY AND PEOPLE WOULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT! I'M NOT HIM! YOU! GET YOUR

BUTT BACK OVER HERE! I'M NOT DONE!" He said this while hitting Parmesan

on the head Who was slowly inching away, and then continued, "I AM NOT

ON THE SAME LEVEL AS A GREEN DINOSAUR. I'M JUST A NORMAL TEENCHEESE,

WHO IS SURROUNDED BY MORONS!"

The waves of energy started to slowly subside, as Swiss started

to calm down. Brie was buried almost completely in to the cheese dune.

And all, anyone could see of Parmesan was a hand sticking out of the

cheese dune. If anyone had seen his face it would have had a severe

look of shock and disbelief at what had just happened.

Swiss just stood there in an uncomfortable silence. Then

whispered, "What happened to you guys? It looks like there was just a

sand storm. Here let me help you get out." Said Swiss as he started to

dig Parmesan out of the sand, completely oblivious to the stares that

he was getting from him.

"You know, you should be more careful, sand storms are really

dangerous! You're lucky that you made it past that one." Said Swiss

trying to yank Brie out of the hole. Brie was whimpering and trying to

dig himself deeper into the sand.

Suddenly there was a high, pitched scream that came from the

direction of where Swiss had come from.

A/n: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO! WHYT DID YOU TIP OVER MY WHITEBOARD! IT'S NOW

DEAD! WHY? WHY?! THE POOR LITTLE THING!SORRY! Here let me put it back

up... there. Oh... it fell again. NO! YOU KILLED IT! WHY?! IT WAS BRAND NEW

TOO! AND IT'S ALREADY FALLEN ON THE FLOOR! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THINGS THAT

I CARE ABOUT THAT GET HURT?! THIS IS ALMOST AS BAD AS WHEN MY EVIL

COUSINS PUSHED ME IN A LAKE, A FEW DAYS AGO! It's not the end of the

world. Look the whiteboard is fine. We even found the two magnets. Hey!

Could someone turn off the music! This a very emotional time for my

friend. Would you please stop kissing it. It was dead to begin with. Oh

boy there she goes to bury it. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I have to

go get my friend. Off in the distance COME BACK! I INVITED MOM TO THE

FUNERAL! THERE'S A DENT IN IT! AND NOW I'M BEING REFFERED TO AS THAT

'STRANGE CRAZY TOMGIRL!' IT'S LIKE A FEW DAYS AGO, WHEN MY EVIL COUSINS

ALMOST HIJACKED A GOLF CART!

Reviews:

Tootsie Roll: Thanks, you are our favorite reviewer,(Of coarse you were

are ONLY reviewer) we dedicate this chapter to you. I REALLY LIKE YOU!

YOU CRAZY CAT PERSON! I'M GOING TO INVITE YOU TO MY WHITEBOARDS

FUNERAL! PLEASE BRING ALONG FLOWERS, AND COME DRESSED IN BLUE AND

BLACK! MY OWN WHITEBOARD WAS A LIGHT-BLUE COLOR! BURSTS IN TO UNHAPPY

TEARS


	4. Milk is good

**A/N: WE apologize, to all you amazing reviewers/wonderful people (all 14 of you!) who have read this story so far! IT TAKES FOREVER TOO UPDATE! SCHOOL IS EVIL! IT ATTACKS YOU! BWAAAAHHHHH! Lately we have been so involved in schoolwork, and . . . . AND OTHER STUFF! SO MANY FRIENDS ARE GOING AWAY! Hmmmmm, I wonder why. Anyway, we apologize and after months of thinking, planning, AND CHEESEY WRITERS BLOCK! YAY! Herhum! As I was saying. ON TO THE STORY! YAY! YAY! WE MISS YOU PEOPLE! YAY!**

Disclaimer: I WANT THE STORY! STORY! STORY! THE PLOT IS ALL OURS, SO PEOPLE . . . please, don't copyright any of our ideas and characters, ESPECIALLY NAMES. AND that includes you George Lucas! THAT'S RIGHT YOU EVIL FRIEND! NEXT TIME YOU SEND ME AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE, DON'T HAVE IT SAY THAT WE'RE GOING TO MEET HIM! Hahahahaha, That was soooooo funny. But you didn't know who he was. OH, LOOK! ON THE BACK OF THE STAR WARS DVD, IT SAYS THAT THERE'S A COPYRIGHT! Darn you George Lucas! Oh my gosh! He's behind me! OH NO, HE'S GOT A LIGHT SABER! WE DON'T OWN STAR WARS! WE ADMIT IT! YOU CAN KILL MY FRIEND, JUST DON'T KILL ME! Oh thanks, now you just gave him a reason to practice the force on me. Anyway, ON WITH THE STORY!

**Cheese Wars**

**Chapter 4:** Milk is Good

_**Swiss and his newly found companions, Parmesan and Brie suddenly heard the scream. It was coming from the direction of Swiss's house. **_Wow! It does? How did you know that? **_Um, I'm the narrator, so I'm omniscient._** Oh, that makes sense, well thanks for the direction. **_No problem Swissy._** WHAT DID YOU… JUST… CALL… ME! **_Okay you need to go back to the story now._**

Swiss, Parmesan, and Brie jumped up, startled from the piercing high-pitch scream. "Is that someone you know?" asked Parmesan.

"Oh no, that sounded like my uncle!" said Swissy in a low voice as he began to run toward his aunt and uncle's house.

"Wait, that was a guy?" shouted Parmesan after him. Swiss ran swiftly over the desert terrain, Parmesan wasn't far behind and following up the rear was Brie, leisurely rolling on.

However Swiss's sometimes-illogical brain got the better of him and his pace slowed, until he completely stopped. Parmesan and Brie crashed into him. "Wait, why am I running back home?" he laughed, "It could be another trap to get me to come back, like the time Wenslyndale gave out flyers announcing Camembert's funeral, and advertising that they would give over a million to any person who knew him and showed up." Parmesan and Brie gave him peculiar looks.

"What! It's not my fault I'm need cash fast. We should just turn around and go back."

"What if someone really is hurt? What if it isn't a trick?" asked Parmesan. Just then Swiss slammed his hand over Parmesan's mouth.

"Shhhh." He said and paused. "Do you feel that rumbling?" he whispered.

"Brie!" said Brie, turning a small circle.

"Yes, same here." Said Parmesan. "What rumbling are you talking about?"

"That small vibration in the ground that…" Suddenly Swiss saw a fast moving dust cloud coming straight toward themover Parmesan's shoulders. "Th… tha…th…" he began to stutter.

"What are you trying to say? I can't understand you, and I can speak over 20 differnet dialects." said Parmesan.

"That…vibration becoming…louder and…" He gulped. He was beginning to see outlines of several different shapes. "Oooh my gosh! It's about time we started running, don't you think."

"Run, why? You're acting very strange." Said Parmesan as Swiss started to flail his arms and jump around shouting,

"STAMPEDE! RUN!" just then all three of them were bulldozed by a giant herd of orange cattle. The thundering cattle swept past, just as fast as they had Come. All that was left was Brie flat on his side and half buried, bits and pieces of parmesan lying about and Swiss, face first on the ground. Swiss lifted his face, spat out some sand and looked over at parmesans' dislocated head with great distaste. "I hate you so much right now." he said.

" Ow," was all Parmesan could manage. They heard someone shout a great, "YEEEEHAAAW!" and a guy in a huge cowboy hat, riding a big black and white cow leapt over their heads.

"Ride 'em cowboy! Yipiyay!" He shouted. The big cow reared, flailing its hooves in the air. "Aaaah!" The cowboy yelled as he somersaulted off of the cows tail and landed with a thud on the ground, head first in the sand. The cow then trotted away very happy its rider was off. "Nooo come back!" he shouted througha mouthful of sand, but he was unable to get out of the strange position he had landed in. Swiss, confused by all this, got up and brushed himself off.

"Who the heck are you?" he asked.

"Me? I'm a normal day –to- day, cow herder? The real question is who are you," he paused for a moment, "Are you trying to steal my special orange cows?" The mysterious stranger exclaimed, waving his hat back and forth to accentuate his words, he then, without success, tried to get up. "Hey, buddy, do you think you could give me a hand here? I'm a little stuck. And I heard that sand isn't that good for your ears!" Swiss stopped himself before he began to rant. He stared at the man in front of him. Even a kindergartener could pull his head out of the ground. Parmesan was proof of that. And could anyone talk with his mouth full of sand? This man was weird, weird enough that he needed help.

"Sure thing, old guy, but you see, I'm a little low on cash, so I'm going to have to require you to pay a fine." he pulled the oddly garbed man out of the sand. Once his head was free from the sand, the man stood up, and started banging on his head. While he did this a mountain of sand started to pour out of his ears. He then yanked his pants almost up to his arms. "Phew. That has to have been one of my most uncomfortable moments." Swiss was about to ask him why he pulled his pants up so high, But the cowby continued, "But I don't have any money on me at the moment. But in regard for saving my ears, from that most obnoxious sand," He said. Swissy opened his mouth but was cut short when the cow-herder yelled excitedly, "But I do have something even better!"

"And what would that be?" Swiss asked sarcasticly as he leaned in.

"MILK!" Mr. Cowboy vociferously screamed in Swissy's ear. Swiss was almost knocked off his feet. His face then began to turn that strange shade of orange again then he began to rant,

"First of all, old coot, I hate cows. And do you want to know why? Because I hate cheese. And do you know what makes cheese?" Not waiting for a reply Swiss continued on, "I'll tell you! MILK STUPID! nasty, stinking, disgusting milk!" The cowboy looked startled, until a grin spread across his round face. He started to laugh. Not just the regular run-of-the-mill laugh, but the kind that booms, one that is almost as loud as cheese-zapping thunder. By the time he stopped, Swiss had covered his ears, and was trying to dig a burrow in the sand so that he could hide in it.

"You, my boy, are nuts. No one in their right mind would ever give up any of my milk. It's the best non-fat dairy product around the solar system. Yet you want money instead. I knew you had something wrong with your head! I can see it in that big white eye of yours." The cowboy said squinting at Brie, apparently losing track of where Swiss was.

"Yeah sure you do. Oh, and by the way, I'm over here." Swiss said in an exasperated voice while waving his hands from his half way dug out hole in front of the old cowboy. Swiss glanced at the herd of orange cows chewing their cud off down the road. "Why the heck would you ever want to herd cows anyway?"

"Because, cows make milk, and milk is good." The cowboy said showing pleasure as he pronounced every syllable. Swiss's face blanched. Off to the side he went off into his own little world.

"Why do I always get stuck with the freaky ones? I mean here I am minding my own business, then comes this space pod with two oddballs on board."

"Hey!" shouted Parmesan, who was ease dropping.Brie just said, "Brie."

Swiss continued as if he hadn't heard a thing, "Then we hear my uncle scream for no apparent reason . . . then you..."

"Wait, did you say there where two oddballs?" exclaimed the strange cowboy looking around. Looking past Swiss, he suddenly broke out into exclamation, "Brie! Oh my gosh it's been years since I've seen you!"

"What," said Swiss in very low voice. Brie immediately jumped up and began running in the opposite direction, shouting "BRRRIIIEEEEEE!"

"Wait, don't run away from me, I want to give you a hug!" shouted the cowboy, running after Brie. Brie, not looking where it was going, crashed into the canyon wall and toppled over . . . again. The cowboy picked up Brie and gave him a tremendous hug. Brie looked just about ready to die. "Brie doesn't like me that much." Said the cowboy.

"I don't blame him." Mumbled Swiss.

"Yes, this reunion is very nice, but may I remind you that I'm still in pieces over here!" shouted Parmesan's disconnected head. The Cowboy suddenly dropped Brie, who landed back on his side saying "Brie." In a pain filled tone.

"Parmesan? Is that really you?" exclaimed the cowboy.

"Nacho, so good to see you, now will you put me back together!" shouted Parmesan.

"Your name is Nacho?" asked Swiss in surprise.

"Ah, yeah." Said Nacho.

"And you... know these two?" Swiss asked again.

"Yeah, we go back a long ways. Hay Parmesan, where's your other arm?" Nacho asked Parmesan.

"I'm going to go hit my head on something hard." Said Swiss, walking toward one the canyon walls.

"Yeah, you go do that while I put Parmesan back together. Say Parmesan, you should have been made better, you keep falling apart." Said Nacho

"Oh thanks." Mumbled Parmesan.

_20 minuets ago, back at Swiss's Aunt and Uncle's house._

Wenslydale was leading Camembert out the front door. "Camembert, what'd I tell you, there are no scary Cheeto's outside, see." She said. Camembert looked up and screamed so loud and high, that it could be heard for miles.

"Cheeto's! They've come!" he yelled as he ran back into the house. Wenslydale looked up and saw three flying Cheeto's. In a huff, she stomped back into the house, and came back out with a shotgun.

"It took me five hours to get him out from under that bed, and you just had to come right when I got him through the door." She grumbled as she loaded the gun. "Oh yes, you're going to pay for that." She said as she pointed at one of the approaching Cheeto's.

_20 minuets later, at the canyon._

While Swiss was thumping his head against the canyon wall, he suddenly remembered that his uncle only screamed in a high-pitch voice when he was really, really scared. He knew this since he was a toddler one Halloween night. He remembered his costume was a pink bunny that year, and everybody wouldn't stop laughing at him or telling him how cute he looked... which really annoyed him. His uncle Camembert was taking him Trick-or-treating around town. On one of the porches, someone had put a little dancing skelaton that sang some random song. Whenever someone walked by, it would start dancing. To Swissy, it was slightly disturbing but fun to watch. When his uncle walked by and it began to dance, Camembert ran up a tree, sceeming that very same high-pitch scream. The fire department came an hour later to get him down. To Swissy, it was one of the most embarrassing things that ever happened to him. Just then Swiss was jolted out of his thoughts when he heard the blasts of rocket engines. He looked up and saw three giant Cheeto's fly over-head.

_On the Dorido_

The Macaroni lay idle in the vacuum of space. It was charred black from being fired at by relentless Cheetos. Throughout the ship were ghastly, cheese-dripping gashes, and chunks of blown out parts floated around. Dark Grater was sitting in the captains' chair, admiring the effectiveness of his plan, gently stroking what looked like a hunk of cheese that had molded over, leaving it covered with gray fuzz. Dark Grater affectionately called this gray fuzzy mass, Chuzzy, referring to it as the light of his life. "Sir," said an approaching Cheese Puff as he saluted, it was Puff #1, also known as The Cheese Head, second in command of the Cheese Puffs. "The Macaroni has been completely taken over sir."

"Excellent, no hostages I presume." Said Dark Grater.

"No sir." Said Puff #1.

"Hello! I'm a hostage over here!" they heard someone shout from the lower deck.

"Except for Princess Lummy, sir." Puff #1 said, flinching.

"Hey! It's LIMBERGER! The least you could do is get my name write you big doodoo heads!" Limberger shouted again, this time pounding the ceiling to prove her point. Puff #1 and Dark Grater acted like they didn't hear her.

"Excellent," said Dark Grater, still stroking Chuzzy.

"Ah, Sir," said Puff #1 uncertainly. "Don't you think you should throw that thing away by now." He indicated Chuzzy, "he's kind of old and... Stinky." It was true that from time to time, Chuzzy would emanate a faint unpleasant odor, usually before it gave off a cloud of fungus spores.

"What did you just say?" Dark Grater asked in a very dangerous tone.

"Well, maybe it's time you got... a... new... Chuzzy." Puff #1's face had turned very white. Dark Grater had gottone out of his chair and was towering menacingly over him. Dark Grater was very sensitive about Chuzzy, but who could blame him. Many people are very protective about the . . .things . . . they love. Just then Chuzzy gave off a sound like a broken accordion. Chuzzy puffed out a white cloud of fungus spores.

"Bad Chuzzy, you spored." Said Dark Grater in a reprimanding voice. Just then another Cheese Puff entered the room and saluted.

"Puff #473, report." Said Puff #1.

"Sir, Princess Limberger has been restrained." Replied the Cheese Puff.

"In which cell?" asked Dark Grater.

"The one that was recently painted, sir." Said Puff #473.

"The pink one?" asked Puff #1.

"Yes sir." Suddenly they heard a joyous shout from outside,

"FREEDOM!" Lummy floated past the window, shouting and waving for joy. Dark Grater looked back at Puff #473, and folded his arms in a silent gesture of anger. There was an awkward silence... for a very long time.

"Oh look, Lummy somehow has gotten out. Okay, I'll just go... get her... back ... in..." Cheese Puff #473 ran as fast as he could out of the room.

"Remind me to fire that guy when he comes back." Said Dark Grater. Another cry of "FREEDOM" and "HEY! What are you doing? NOOooo I'm not going back into that cell!" Was heard from outside.

**A/N: YA! ANOTHER CHAPTER**! **It took a long time to write this chapter, but we did and now its done! ONLY... A LOT MORE TO GO! Yeah, we're far from done with the cheesiness. So if you enjoyed this as much as us, come back later and review! AND IF YOU DON'T REVIEW . . .WE'LL KNOW, AND LABEL YOU AS A BUTT HEAD! ...Maybe it's time my friend went and payed a visit to the closet. YEAH! CLOSET! WHOOOOO! Yes the closet, your favorite place in the whole wide world. NOPE, IT'S REALLY THE BOTTOM OF MY RAMEN BOWL! Oh-Kay. **


	5. Boom!

**A/N: YES IT'S BEEN FOREVER AND WE KNOW AS MUCH!** Like ever! When was the last time we were writing this? **BUT NOW SCHOOL IS OVER SO BE WARNED, MWAHAHAHAHA! **Yes, we're back with vengeance! **AND WE'RE COMING TO GET YOU! **Of course, not if you review. We will not harm those that review. **BUT OTHERWISE WE'RE COMING AFTER YOU!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly the plot is not completely our own. YES IT IS! WHATEVER YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE IS MINE! You wish. It's ours. YET I CAN STILL HUG IT! **

**Chapter 5: BOOM!**

On their way to the mother ship, Princess Limburger was contained in a different cell and kept under close supervision. After the first incident, brought about by the fact that pink had a seemingly rather violent effect on her, it took 7 guards and 5-inch walls before she finally calmed down. Following this, she tried to engage the two guards stationed by her cell in a conversation. After 5 minutes of a very one-sided conversation with incoherent coughs and grunts from the two guards, Limburger cried out,

"You guys are my best friends." The two guards suddenly felt Limburgers' arms wrap around both of their necks as she abruptly pulled them towards her. " Did you know this is the first time I've been able to talk to anyone like this without them running away from me?" The two guards glanced at each other nervously. " I remember as far back as my second past life, I was a cat. The only thing I ate was pickles and for some reason I always had indigestion. I was a very fluffy black and white cat and could easily be distracted by plush toys and feathers. Then one day, I died. I woke up as an Orangutan. I took great pleasure in scratching myself in front of everyone who wanted to gaze at my splendor."

At this point Lummy was sniffling and the guards were looking for an escape. But she went on and on all the way through her first moments as a baby, through her childhood, and through her boarding school days. By then the guards were screaming for help and clawing at her arms. Her only response was to say," Oh wait, I'm not done. At this point I discovered that my teacher, Ms. Velveeta was keeping a fuzzy ball of pink cheese. It forced me to believe that she was evil, though the enormous amount of homework and pop quizzes she gave should have made me aware of this earlier, but it didn't. From this point on my sole purpose in life was to destroy that pink ball of cheese. But every time I tried, it spored on me, foiling my plans. For some strange reason I was declared mentally unstable. Do you believe that?" She asked, forcing one of the guards to look her straight in the eye. The guard merely wailed "I regret nothing!" and tried to run through the wall, which he had forgotten was 5 inches thick, he went through only 2 inches but it made a loud metallic ringing that vibrated around the Dorito.

On another part of the ship, Dark Grater immediately stopped staring off into space and said. "What was that?" He looked at Puff #1, whose face had fallen flat against the controls, snoring. Dark Grater threw Chuzzy at him. Chuzzy thudded against Puff #1 in a cloud of spores. Puff #1 immediately jumped up and shouted, "What!" Then realized who he was talking to and quickly added, "Sir?" Dark Grater then decided that it was not worth asking again and merely told him to sit back down.

Back on the planet

There was a loud boom that resonated across the dunes. A shockwave followed briefly afterwards. With the sudden realization that not only was his only known family in trouble, but their small-amassed fortune and his bedroom were at jeopardy as well, Swiss took off towards home as fast as his concussion would allow him, limping past Nacho who had just finished putting Parmesan together.

"Hey! Hey you! Kido! Where you go' in?" Nacho called after him. Seeing that he wasn't going to get an answer anytime soon, Nacho sighed, mounted his cow, and sped off after Swiss. Parmesan, quickly realizing that he and Brie were going to get left behind if he didn't do something soon, grabbed onto the cow's tail and put his hand back to grab onto Brie. Brie, not knowing what else to do, bit Parmesan's hand as he couldn't hold it due to a lack of arms.

Swiss loped across the dunes with Nacho and his cow close behind. They came upon the ruins of Swiss's home, now just a smoldering charred patch on the ground. Swiss sank to his knees, panting and stunned. Nacho pulled up behind, his cow sliding to a halt. "Swiss," he whispered, seeing the destruction. "I'm so sorry,"

"Gone, it's all gone. My bedroom!" he cried.

"Bedroom?" Parmesan sneezed from all the dust the cow had kicked into his face.

"Was there anyone here when this happened?" Nacho asked, trying to be sympathetic.

" Well, there was my aunt and uncle," Swiss said. Parmesan and Nacho exchanged glances. Brie just said Brie. " But of course I actually didn't want to see them again anyway." Lifting his head from his chest, Swiss noticed a lone figure on the dune opposite them, gawking at the smoke. "Hey! You!" Swiss yelled at him, scrambling to his feet and making his way toward the figure through the wreckage. Nacho, Brie, and Parmesan followed.

"Yeah?" replied the figure. As Swiss approached, he noticed that the figure was a man, in a shirt that was in the same pattern as the Italian flag. He had brilliant orange hair and a green baseball cap that said _Pizza Goooooood!_ He appeared to have a flour-coated apron on as well. "Yeah?" He asked again.

"Did you see what happened here?" Swiss asked.

"Yeah," He said again. There was a pause.

"Could you tell me?" Swiss said finally.

"Well," Began the man, "There was this thing and this other thing and the thing went boom and it was really cool to watch." It took Swiss, awhile to figure out what he had said. Then he blurted out,

"And you just stood there?"

"Was I supposed to do something?" The man asked. Swiss looked shocked, and then burst out,

"Of course you were! You just let an entire fortune not to mention _MY_ _bedroom_ go up in smoke! That room had all my get-away money in it!" The figure man looked slightly confused.

"Get-away money? For what get-away?" The man asked, scratching his head.

"To get away from here!" Swiss yelled in exasperation. There was a pause.

"Oh, well that sucks." The man said empathetically. Swiss could hardly believe this. Who was this guy and what was his problem? "I just saw the Cheetos fly by and remembered one of them had ordered a pizza two hours ago." Nacho and Parmesan finally came up the hill, huffing and puffing because Brie had refused to go up another dune and had to be dragged.

"Pizza! What about Pizza?" Nacho asked.

"Who is this?" Parmesan asked seeing the man with the green cap and apron.

"My names' Provolone." Said the man, "and I'm a pizza delivery boy."

"Pizza delivery?" Swiss said, surprised. Then something hit him. "Does that mean you have a ship?" Provolone nodded. "Thank you! I'm saved!" Swiss yelled, falling to his knees and bowing before Provolone. Provolone looked up at the sky as if he might find which higher power Swiss was bowing to. There didn't appear to be any up there, so he turned back to Swiss.

"Well if that's all . . . I have to go and deliver that pizza now." With that Provolone began to briskly walk away.

Nacho, Brie, and Parmesan could only watch as Swiss shouted, "NOOOOOOO! Don't leave me!" and tackled Provolone. The two of them were knocked to the ground in a cloud of cheesy dust.

"I'm not letting you go until you agree to take me with you! I can't stay here with _them_!" Swiss pointed towards the pile that made up Parmesan, Brie, and Nacho. "It's the least you could do after making no attempt to save my bedroom." He took a slow breath, "So, will you or won't you take me with you?" His voice was near shrill.

Provolone looked from Swiss to Swiss' traveling companions and then back to Swiss. With a curt nod, he said, "Sure."

Swiss stared, flabbergasted. "Wait, you're just going to let me go with you, no questions asked?"

"Yeah . . . your friend people can come too . . . " Before Swiss had time to argue, Brie jumped up, suddenly renewed with energy, with a definite, "Brie!" and raced off.

"Wait Thing! Other way!" Provolone yelled. Brie did a wide U-turn and sped past them, kicking up tons of sand. "Right this way." Provolone said, gesturing them to follow him as he slid down the side of the dune. They walked for a few minutes and then as they rounded a pile of sand, a giant cheese enchilada came into sight. They all gawked at it.

"There she is," Provolone, said proudly, " I call her the Ushizi." Provolone said proudly, as he approached it. He knocked on the hull and a ramp came down. "Oh, ah another thing," He quickly said, turning to face them before he went up. "Do you guys mind living with another species?" Swiss and the gang looked at each, and then shook their heads. "Great! Meet my friend, Cheddar!" Provolone exclaimed, as he ran up the ramp. They followed and were met by a tall creature, covered in fuzzy orange fur all over his body. He had two large eyes on top of his head, which he surveyed them with.

"This is my friend Cheddar, say hi Cheddar." Provolone said. Cheddar blinked and waved at them. "He's my traveling partner. Together we make the best pizza delivery team in the galaxy." Provolone said, playfully elbowing Cheddar.

"Great, I'm still surrounded by idiots." Swiss grumbled to himself as he stalked off down the ship's hallway.

Provolone blinked, and coming out of his stupor yelled, "Okay, board 'em up!"

On the mother ship, the Cheesecake

It took a half an hour before anyone realized that the high-pitched shrieking was emanating from Limburger's cell. After saving the half-coherent watch guards from her chamber, a constant patrol outside her room was set up, instead of having the guards stay in the same room as Limburger.

Dark Grater laughed maniacally. After the chaos had died down on his ship, he was ready to begin questioning. Princess Limburger was said to know the location of the resistance group to the Cheese Puffs, The Trouble-Makers, and he wanted to see if it was indeed true.

"#1" He yelled. The infamous cheese puff came running, his feet covered in a sticky orange substance.

"Sir, yes sir!" he panted.

"Good, you're here. I want you to bring up Princess Limburger for questioning… And what is that awful smell?" He said indicating the mess on #1's feet.

"Sir. Chuzzy had an 'accident.'"

Dark Grader gave him an exasperated sigh, "Well, then call in the Janitor."

"Sir, yes sir, yes sir, sir." He shouted, leaving sticky footprints behind.

Limburger was brought up to the bridge and placed next to Dark Grater.

"Bye Fred, bye Rupert." She said waving at the two puffs that had brought her as they left. Dark Grater cleared his throat to get her attention. "You have really nice staff, how much do you pay them?" Limburger asked.

"That's beside the point." Dark Grater said, a little irritated. "You have a choice Princess Limburger."

"Okay, I prefer chocolate." She said, grinning. Ignoring that, Dark Grater pushed himself out of his chair,

"Tell us where the Trouble-Makers are or we destroy the planet of Kraft!" He threatened. Letting his hand dramatically sweep towards a large terra-form planet looming in the window. He was so happy that he'd taken drama instead of metal shop in high school.

"You've got to be kidding," Limburger said, her eyes becoming wide.

"Oh, but I'm not." Dark Grater said darkly. Inside he smirked. There was no way that Limburger was going to let her planet be disintegrated for the sake of a few measly lives.

"You want to make me choose? Between my home and family and my friends?" Her eyes were growing bigger by the second.

"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do." Dark Grader said with a visible smirk. This was just too easy.

Suddenly Limburger's stupor ended. "Y-you are a-a b-beautiful person!" She said breathlessly.

"What?" Dark Grader was shocked; those weren't the words that he'd been hoping for.

Lummy jumped up, engulfing him in a hug. "I've been trying to get rid of that planet for years! Remember the toxic bean gas infestation?" Dark Grader shook his head. "Well, that was me! And that time when a comet with a magnet inside was sent hurtling into the planets core," Dark Grater was unable to speak. "That was me too!" Limburger exclaimed. She released Dark Grater and pressed her face to the window. "Make it go boom!" she shrieked, grinning maniacally.

"Activate Mega-Big-Fondue-Laser-of-Destruction!" was all Dark Grater could say.

"Roger that," Puff #1 said, saluting. "Activate the Big Lazar Thingy!" He shouted. In motions that resembled clockwork, the cheese puffs flew to their stations, checking the coordinates of the target in relation to the weapon.

"Check, check, ready when you are sir," they all said.

"I want a really BIG BOOM!" Lummy shouted.

"Clear," Puff #1 said, as he pressed a very big red button on the controls. The entire ship vibrated with a low hum, then a shrill whine as all energy was focused into a single red beam of searing light, hurtling towards the unsuspecting planet sitting helpless in space… and missed it by several inches.

"Wh-where'd the boom go?" Limburger demanded. "The planet is supposed to go boom! Whose fault is this?" she spun around and glared at all of them. Dark Grater reached up and grabbed Puff #1 by the collar, dragging him down close to his face.

"What happened?" He hissed.

"Well, there must've been a glitch in the aaah… I can't breathe." Puff #1 squeaked as Dark Grater tightened his grip.

"No, what… happened… to her? This… isn't… normal." Dark Grater said, putting emphasis on every single word. They both looked at Princess Limburger, who was now breathing on the window and writing _destroy this now_ with a little arrow pointing towards Kraft in the condensation.

"Maybe it's space lag. She _has _been traveling through space for quite some time." Puff #1 one squealed. Dark Grater lessened his grip.

"And what do you suppose we do about it?"

"Reverse psychology?" Puff #1 shut his eyes briefly expecting pain of some sort. To his utter relief it never came. Dark grater released him and after a moment of thinking, said,

"Yes, we shall use reverse psychology, and then she will _have_ to tell us where her little Trouble-Maker friends are." He got up and approaching Princess Lummy said very casually,

"Princess Limburger, we shall _not_ destroy the planet of Kraft."

"What? You can't do that!" Lummy exclaimed.

"We can't, and we won't!" Dark Grater made himself look as menacing as possible.

"No! I'm this close, and no one's going to stop me!" Before any one could do anything, Limburger had lunged for the red button and pounded it with her fist. The ship once again vibrated, hummed, whined, all energy was focused into a beam, hurtling toward Kraft, incinerating it, sending molten pieces flying everywhere, completely obliterating it. "Yeah! What now, huh, HUH? That's right, back with vengeance! Princess Limburger one, Kraft ZERO!" She shouted gleefully. She began to do a victory dance. Most of the cheese puffs had retreated to hiding under their chairs.

"What now sir?" Puff #1 asked.

"Give me a minute." Dark Grater said, pounding his head against the wall.

**A/N:** Wow, really sucks for Dark Grater. **HAHAHA, HE'S SO PETTABLE!** But that's what we love about him. **RIGHT, WE LOVE HIM. DON'T YOU LOVE HIM?** Now REVIEW! **YES, REVIEW! I'LL GIVE YOU PUPPY DOG EYES IF YOU DON'T. BE WARNED, MY PUPPY DOG EYES CAN KILL. **If you don't, I'll send my friend after you. **WE WRITE FASTER WITH REVIEWS AND SUGAR. YUMMM, SUGAR. **


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